Hey potheads! Wake up already! Got some scary news for your indolent, dope-smoking asses! A report commissioned by the government of the United Kingdom shows that "a single joint of cannabis raises the risk of schizophrenia by more than 40 per cent." There's a silver lining, though, for teenage dorks: The study suggests that the risks are higher for those who start smoking up during the formative teenage years rather than later in life. So you know that annoying athlete friend you had in...