Do you have experience on how best to deal with anorexia

I have a severely anorexic friend who was hospitalized twice and just refuses to give up her way of eating although she tries new ways to restrict that she feels are healthier. None of it is healthy but in her mind it is.

In the case of a recovering anorexic, you can't be too pushy. Usually food is the one thing they can control and, if they feel pushed or talked down to, that defense mechanism triggers their eating disorder. Watching what they eat, asking if they ate or how much they weigh, anything of that nature is not good.

The best thing you can do is to treat your cousin as you treat all your friends/family. Don't mention food or ask anything. She will talk when she wants to. And never ever tell her she looks "better" or "healthy" at this point. Yes, I know that sounds supportive but you say better and she hears FAT.

You can compliment her accessories or her hair or whatever but stay away from the body.

That is all I know since, no matter what we all do, my friend relapses often and binges when she is so starved she can barely walk. It's so hard to break the cycle and, if your cousin does relapse, don't tell her you are disappointed in her. Just let her know tomorrow's another day and she's doing the best she can. Because, really, she is.

She needs support to see she is loved no matter what she does or doesn't eat. It's very complex. There are several good books on eating disorders and you may want to pick one up. They offer a load of insight into the anorexic's mind and how you, as a concerned friend/relative, can help.

Good luck!

I almost end up on this condition before. I am 4'11 and I weighed 79 lbs. before and everybody is saying that I was just too thin but I was in denial. I thought it looks good on me and thought of losing even more. Everytime I look in the mirror, I just could not say that something is wrong. But one time I met somebody who's almost skin and bones and when I ask her about how much she weighed and we are the same height, that really opened my eyes and I was crying for all those times I thought I look good but I really look terrible!
Now I weighed 95 lbs. and I looked great now!*wink*

I can speak about this personally because I have battled the conditionand in all honesty the best thing you can do is be patient with her. Going into hospital was a huge step in itself but I always believe that the real battle starts after that.

If your close with your cousin, she might feel able to confide in you if she has any problems she wants to talk about, and the most important thing to do is just listen. Try and treat her like everyone else, take her shopping, go to the cinema, whatever you think she'll enjoy.

It may be difficult to understand if you've never suffered with an eating disorder but it's an ongoing battle. They'll be good days, but they'll also be bad days. If your cousin has a bad day, you have to remind her that it's not something she will get better from overnight and that she has lots of people out there who will support her all the way. I hope she gets better soon.

I feel sorry for your cousin and pray for her faster recovery. An article i would like to share on self care
"When you have anorexia, it can be difficult to take care of yourself properly. Follow these steps:

* Talk to your doctor about appropriate vitamin and mineral supplements. If you're not eating well, chances are your body isn't getting all of the nutrients it needs.
* Stick to your treatment. Don't skip therapy sessions and try not to stray from meal plans, even if they make you uncomfortable.
* Don't isolate yourself from caring family members and friends who want to see you get healthy. Understand that they have your best interests at heart.
* Resist urges to weigh yourself or check yourself in the mirror frequently. These may do nothing but fuel your drive to maintain unhealthy habits.
How do you cope with this.
how do you cope with a disease that can be deadly when you may be getting messages that being thin is a sign of success?

* Remind yourself what a healthy weight is for your body, especially at times when you see images that may trigger your desire to restrict calories.
* Don't visit pro-anorexia Web sites. These sites can encourage you to maintain dangerous habits and trigger relapses. Don't buy into the message that anorexia is a lifestyle choice. Don't kid yourself that you're the one in control — the disease is.
* Acknowledge that you may not be the best judge of whether you're eating enough or are at a healthy weight.
* Identify situations that are likely to trigger thoughts or behavior that may contribute to your anorexia so that you can develop a plan of action to deal with them.
* Look for positive role models, even if they're not easy to find. Remind yourself that the ultra-thin models or actors showcased in women's magazines or gossip magazines often don't represent healthy bodies.
* Don't call anorexia your friend. That kind of self-deception can kill you.
* If you're hiding your anorexia from loved ones, try to find a trusted confidante you can talk to about what's going on. Together, you may be able to come up with some treatment options."

HEALTH IS WEALTH

Offer her support at meal times. These can be particularly stressful. Having someone to eat with can help immensely. I don't really know if there is anything that you can do to help speed things along per se because this is one of those things that really need to be given time to get better at their own pace. Recovery from anorexia can be a struggle for a long time.

You can't rush it. That's the best advice. Take baby steps. Don't try to force her or pressure her into eating a ton of food or something, otherwise she's more likely to relapse. Just be patient, and encourage her to eat a little (or whatever her doctor is telling her too...but don't push her to do more than that or she may pull away from you.