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have you ever been compared to your sibling? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 86/100. meiji15 (503)   ranked 463 out of 1,555 in sister7 months ago

for almost two decades i've been living in the shadow of my sister---my sister who is better than me in every aspect, be it academically, socially and everything in between. i stopped competing when i graduated from college (i don't know why it took me that long before i realize that my chances of beating her is slim to none). anywho, does anyone of you guys ever felt the pressure of being compared?

 
 
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Amber4106 (204) response was accepted on 4/6/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  sister, siblings, brother, compare, sibling comparison
 
1. myLot reputation of 89/100. Amber4106 (204)   ranked 503 out of 1,555 in sister   7 months ago

I was an only child for eight years before my mom had remarried and had another baby. I was used to having all the attention and then when my sister came along, nothing. It was hard to deal with, especially when the step-grandparents had a biological granddaughter in the family now. In their eyes she could do no wrong and I was the rebel, and believe me I rebelled. It caused me to not have a good relationship with my sister, and it was in no way her fault. Now that I'm older I look back and think of how rude I was to her because of my own jealousy towards her. We have a good relationship now. She is still in high school, but is able to come out and see me on weekends. That is something that I'm very grateful for, despite the judgement that her side of the family had and still has on me. I'm still the "bad" one.:)


myLot reputation of 86/100. meiji15 (503)   ranked 463 out of 1,555 in sister  7 months ago

thank you for sharing. in my case she's my older sister, a year older that is. i think the close age gap only worsen the competition. it's good that you and your sibling see during weekends. i see mine everyday because we're still living with our parents...hehe:D

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2. myLot reputation of 97/100. quiltedblessings (871)   7 months ago

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myLot reputation of 86/100. meiji15 (503)   ranked 463 out of 1,555 in sister  7 months ago

with my sister, the longer she's under a microscope the more she shines...
it's good that you're the model daughter---i can understand the pressure. you're pressured to do what is expected from you and i---i was pressured to at least perform at par with my sister...

thanks for sharing

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3. myLot reputation of 98/100. patgalca (5215)   ranked 498 out of 1,555 in sister   7 months ago

I am spread out in age with my siblings. My brother is 4.5 years older than me. My sister is 9 years older than me, my other sister 14 years older than me, and my eldest brother was 15 years older than me. So there really weren't very many comparisons. Most people compare us to our father because we have his sense of humour.

I have been compared to the brother closest to me in that we laugh the same. The middle child, the one 9 years older than me, has always been rebellious about being the middle child, but she always seemed perfect to me. I can do a great imitation of her voice but I have been resenting her a lot because she has always talked down to me. After all these years (I'm 45) I have finally realized that she is insecure in herself and jealous of others. I've actually turned a bit away from her because I had to complain to my mother about the way she was talking down to me and my mother had a talk with her (I think). I've actually been avoiding her.

Other than that, there have been no comparisons. I always wished I was like her but now I'm glad I'm not. We are individuals. We were all raised by the same parents and we all turned out differently because we are all unique. You need to find the YOU inside of YOU and forget about your sister. I am sure you have some good things about you that your sister doesn't have.


myLot reputation of 86/100. meiji15 (503)   ranked 463 out of 1,555 in sister  7 months ago

quote: 'you need to find the YOU inside of YOU...you have some good things about you that your sister doesn't have' awww, thanks...ive been looking for such awhile back---though same proved elusive...

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4. myLot reputation of 92/100. dianagnes (880)   ranked 830 out of 1,555 in sister   7 months ago

For me..Not really,not much..sometimes do but i can't remember what are the things for now.Im the only girl with three others guys..we are average.So girl and guy..to be compare its kinda unfair for siblings.
Its natural for siblings to compete with each other.Elder siblings tends to give way,if jeolousy does not take place on themselves.

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5. myLot reputation of 87/100. nishdan01 (1911)   6 months ago

I had a brother who was more than 4 years younger to me. So there were no comparisons literally except on the matter of studies. I think sisters who are close in age tend to compare and compete.
Here is an example:
http://www.thisisby.us/in...

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6. myLot reputation of 97/100. checapricorn (7227)   ranked 618 out of 1,555 in sister   6 months ago

My sis to me! and I don't really like it sometimes I will really defend for her because I know its wont give any good outcome to her and thank God, she was also that brave enough to stand out! Just don't mind them, and soon they will realize that what they are doing is not good and in your own way, they will see your accomplishment too!

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7. myLot reputation of 94/100. rhane7315 (4137)   ranked 921 out of 1,555 in sister   6 months ago

i don't have a sister but sometimes i've been compared to some of my friends like they were already graduates while me, i'm still studying and so on thumbdown

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8. myLot reputation of 89/100. rombi001 (455)   6 months ago

I have never been compared to my sister or to my brother, but my younger brother is always told off and my parents use me as the good example which terrible because you feel like they are putting a barrier between you and your siblings. I believe we're all different and parents should not expect the same from every child

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9. myLot reputation of 97/100. nanayangel (2864)   ranked 673 out of 1,555 in sister   6 months ago

Hi there meiji!
I have experienced being compared to my younger sisters but I never felt pressured at all. We even talked about it and decided to have our own strengths that we should put forward whenever we hear that people are comparing us. We'll say that me, the eldest is the most intelligent, Roxanne, my younger sister is the kindest, and our youngest sister, Rosegell is the sexiest. lol

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10. myLot reputation of 71/100. asawanialvin0611 (1648)   ranked 429 out of 1,555 in sister   6 months ago

they compare them to me because I was the eldest and the achiever, but nonetheless, I cannot be better.I am a doting sister to them

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