How to break sad news!!!!

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello, Mr. Johnson? This is Peter, your country
house caretaker"

"Ah yes, Peter. What can I do for you? Is there a

problem?"

"Um, I'm just calling to advise you, sir, that
your
parrot died"

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the
competition?"

"That's the one."

"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune
on
that bird. Oh...what did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him
meat?"

"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead
horses."

"Dead horse? What dead horse, Peter?"

"Those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They
died from all that work of pulling the water
cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"


"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the
curtain caught on fire."

"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the
house!!!! What was the candle for???"

"For the funeral."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL Peter???!!!!!"

"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the
blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her

Mr. Johnson is currently in I.C.U and Peter is
assisting the police
with
investigations.