Making bad choices doesn't make you a victim...or does it?

After one night sleeping with a guy? She definitrely has very low self esteem, & is blaming all HER problems on the guy's. I know cause I use to do this until I left my ex & then I could see where I went wrong too. My self esteem is at an all time high now & I feel very good about myself. I am dating one guy now for 3 months, & we still have nOT slept together, MY choice. And he respects that also. This friend of your' need's to be single for awhile & get her self esteem & pride back before she has yet another kid & is by herself. These guy's all sound like loser's & that is all she is going to attract, with her low self esteem....Lori

It seems as if she doesn't know what she really wants and takes relationships too fast if she invited a man back to her house the night they met.

I see her as a very lonely women who does have low self esteem. I think that all she is looking for is someone to love her for her. And because of that she will latch on to anyone who shows her abit of kindness or love. She is probably mistaking lust for love. I just hope for her sake that one day she will find the right guy who understands her.

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I see this woman as a sort of leech. She is always looking for the next man to get her security from. I don't see her as a victim at all.. I see her as the maker of her own fate. This guy will probably leave too, and then she will seduce another man to come to her bed.

I think her behavior stems from having a very low self-image. She somehow can make her life better if she latches onto another man. I see this as not learning how to take care of herself... and I don't think she will ever be happy.. when she becomes older and she isn't so attractive she may not be able to get men to knock on her door to spend the night... she will have to learn to take care of herself. I don't see her has a victim, I see her as an opportunist.

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I think that your last line pretty much sums it up. Some people want a relationship and love so bad that they will accept anything and everything in hopes of finding it. I have always felt that if it is love and meant to be, it will find you, you don't have to find it. I have a friend much the same way. I told him once that instead of looking for love, he should look for a friend and let love find him. At least that way, if love never happens, you still have a friend with which to share your life.

Its sounds to me that she has very low self-esteem. I dont mean to sound so cruel, or rude, but it sounds like she is a woman who doesnt want to be alone, and just goes with who ever will have her. I do really hope that she is with the 'right one' this time, who will truely make her happy.:-)

It seems to me that she has a fear of being alone, and she uses guys as an answer to fill the void.

She definitely has low self esteem, and her fear of being alone is what causes her to pick up all the wrong kinds of guys. I wouldn't be surprised if this relationship fails too, and then she'll go back ut and pick up someone new to fill the void once again.

She's in a repetitive cycle, and the only way she'll be able to break it, is by acknowledging and admitting where she's going wrong and learning to deal with being by herself.

In a way, she is a victim. A victim to her own fears.

I think I tend to think the way you do in this situation. It sounds like she needs to learn how to be on her own and find her inner self before she invest anything into anyone else. Sounds like she has lost herself along the way!