Should I date him?  |
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 I'm 29 and I recently met a man who's 49. He's a brilliant man who has written many books that are published and he's a professor at a university that I do not attend. We are attracted to eachother and it looks like we are headed in a direction that we are both aware will bring some weird looks our way. He has told his daughter and friend about us and our age difference saying that it's wise to get the initial shock out of the way, I haven't told anyone how old he is. Anyway, my dilemma is really the fact that I have an Associate degree and Im 3 classes from by Bachelors. I've read many books that we're able to discuss and we haven't ran out of things to talk about. He makes probably 4 times more money than I do and I'm just afraid that one day he will think I haven't achieved enough. I know he thinks I'm smart, attractive and wise because he's said it, but I guess I just feel like I need to write a book or something. I've achieved alot and by the time I'm 49, I know that I would've achieved the same if not more than he (Hopefully). Am I overanalyzing or what???
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| 1. inpulsive (52) | 3 months ago |  I think you are overanalyzing the situation. If you are attracted to each other and you feel like it is right, then definitely date him. I would just say to watch out with all that worrying because a lot of times if you worry about something too much, it happens. Try talking to him about your feelings, (that he might feel he's achieved more) he will most likely understand.
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| ljforte1024 (90) | 3 months ago | I am having dinner with him in about an hour so I think I will take your advice and talk with him. I think he'll understand too. He's said to me before that he was afraid that I'll think he was too old for me. Thank you for your help! | |
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| inpulsive (52) | 3 months ago | Good luck! I'll bet it goes just fine. | |
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| ljforte1024 (90) | 3 months ago | Okay update...I was going to take your advice and found out before I could talk to him about it that he doesn't believe in God. I'm so frustrated now...I don't know what to do. I really have to pray on this one. Everything else that I was afraid of doesn't even matter now. I am Saved and I'm not sure I'm suppose to date someone who doesn't even believe. He says that most scientists don't believe in God. I know that this is means for another topic. I'm really confused now. | |
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2.  Mirenia (180) | 3 months ago |  You should date him if you really like him and want to have a relationship with him. Dont think about it too much because if he cares about you, you dont have to achieve just as much or even more than he has. Its you that he'll care about not how much you've achieved and such. If you guys can still hold good conversations then why not be with him? Communicate is one of the keys to a great relationship and from what you say you both clearly have that. I'd take a chance with him if I was you! Good things could probably come out of it too.
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3.  metschica25 (3146) | 3 months ago |  Hello,
You just may be thinking about it too much. If he respects you now, he always will. You can achieve great things when you are with him as well.Things will just fall in place.You can find your place in the world with him and share in the joy of your success with him. Sounds like you have had much now already! so, congrats!!
Don't care what the rest of the world thinks. You could pass up one of the great things in life, and always wonder what if . Give it a try what do you have to lose . In life most things are a risk.
Age should not be an issue if he treats you well, and makes you feel alive .
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| ljforte1024 (90) | 3 months ago | Thank you so much for that positive feedback. He does treat me well and I am meeting him for dinner tonight so I will talk with him. Afterall, he's said to me that he was afraid that I would think he's too old. | |
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| metschica25 (3146) | 3 months ago | Have fun tonight! ah, it is only as old as you feel . You are welcome! | |
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| 4. Mrchikeh (48) | 3 months ago | This is when choice comes to play.I think your really need to follow your heart.If you think him to be the right man for you,not necessarily his portfolio, but the natural qualities you appreciate in him;I think you should let it in.I hope you make a nice decision.Goodluck! | |
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5.  Gesusdid (1071) | 3 months ago | I really think your over shooting the bucket here lol like i dont think or at least he should never think of your education, thats kinda selfish of him to put and slap you in the face with his education and your not helping his ego any better wtih you worrying about his education, ..i mean does he always have to state or say something about his education history? as ong as he loves you that shouldnt matter ...a great thing also that your still getting your education, people at your age just simply give up and go on with what they have, so yeah strive on for YOU for YOUR PURPOSES not because of what HE thinks .. | |
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| 6. Tekocat (9) | 3 months ago |  i date someone that is 13 years older than me it is all good . i think you should go for it and not worry about his age
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7.  jhartana (833) | 3 months ago |  It's your decision entirely but I just commenting from my point of view. If I were in your shoe I wouldn't date someone more than 10 years difference in age. Choose your partner carefully and you have to be smart finding a lot more out of this man so you will know before you two tie the knot. You got plenty of time to find out and given that all of things you have found out you would know what type of man you would live with. One wrong decision would cost a lot of regret of your life. Anyhow good luck on your pursuit of the man you're going to date. Cheers and take care.
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| seagullkang (71) | 3 months ago | Hmmm,i'm agree with what you said, jhartana.I am not sure if two people with large difference in age can go togeter as lovers .May be they can attract each other a lot,but i do not think the two can go a long way together .because i think our daliy life is not just about attraction and understanding of both,there should be more things and the difference in age may cause many questions as the time goes by ...
What's more,there would not be any help way to the wrong decision especially on the life's choosing ...
Best wishes to you ...
Hope you be happy... | |
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| 8. Klarenz (117) | 3 months ago |  Dont worry about his age because age doens't matter when it comes to love. As long as your happy together and you accept him for what he is. I already have a girlfriend 2 years older than me but guess what, she has already have a son. A 4 year old boy name "Irvin", even she had a son at early age i still aceept her because i loved her, love conquers all. Goodluck!
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| 9. Cocoa33 (852) | 3 months ago |  i really don't think that education should be a factor in whether u want to date him. i think if u both get along and able to see eye to eye. there shouldn't be a problem. u know from what u have said. u have a lot in common. u will never get bored. i think u should take it slow, and stop over analyzing over it. if u want to date him, date him.
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| ljforte1024 (90) | 3 months ago | Thank you. I've decided to date him and we have alot of fun together and we see eye to eye on most issues in part because we know how to talk and agree to disagree on the issues we don't agree on.
Thanks for the comment. | |
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| 10. Borge24 (6) | 3 months ago |  First of all AGE DOESN'T MATTER. Everyone knows that. If you really love that guy go for it.It doesn't matter if both of you will look weird when you're together. Just let people stare at you coz who cares? That'll do nothing for both of you unless you're staying true to each other. But if you're after his material possesions and money, think twice. Because I believe in karma and hope you do too.
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 elshaddai123 (2437) | 3 months ago |  Yes yes that is right, the outcome at your expenses
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| ljforte1024 (90) | 3 months ago | Thanks for the comment.
The age issue was just that an age issue and I do not have that issue anymore. I've decided to date him and love him for him. I was just saying that I was afraid at first if he'd think I hadn't accomplished enough for him, but I've gotten over that quickly. I don't care if people stare and the last time we went out nobody paid us any attention. I was really talking about his family and my family, but all of that doesn't matter anymore because they know now and everybody is fine with it:) | |
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