are you unkind?  |
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Some folk, when they recieve a friend request check out the person asking. I do. I add 99% of people who ask me. If we have lots in common, I turn the alert on. If we are years apart in age and and share absolutely no interests, I leave the alert off. In the one or two instances I denied someone I did just that...hit "deny". I requested someone recently and they sent me a message telling me why I wasn't good enough to be friends. I didn't share interests with her in a certain area. But, if I removed certain interests it might be alright. I was quite surprised by how much a stranger whom I asked to be friends with could hurt me like that. It was so UNNECESSARY. All she had to do was hit "deny". Would you do that...go to the trouble of telling someone who asked to be friends with you "no I don't want to be your friend and this is why..." and proceed to criticise them?
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1. Goodie123 (7434) | 7 months ago | It is sad to think some people need to be so rude. If I were that person there is no way I would PM you and tell you why I did not want you as a friend. I would just deny your request. I always check out profiles of others who request me. Some are far too young, I had accepted some young people but all they posted about was school and boys. Uumm I am a bit past that I think. There are certain dicussions I will never respond to, so if the person requesting me has mainly topics like these I will deny them.
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MsTickle (6481) | 7 months ago | I feel okay now Goodie but this person devalued me and it was so unnecessary. That's what the deny button is for. Mind you, I gavce her a couple of serves to set her straight so I hope next time, she just hits the deny button.
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Goodie123 (7434) | 7 months ago | I am glad you gave her a tickle up Ms Tickle. I am a poet and didn't know it. LOL
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Rozie37 (6712) | 7 months ago | I am not an unkind person, I am an honest person. The reason I sent you an explanation is that this was not the first time you had requested my friendship. I did it to be nice. I have a right to stand up for what I believe in. The fact that you have wicca as an interest means that we should not mingle. "If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything."
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OceanTiara (2182) | 7 months ago | I am nice Raven..will you accept my friends request from fifty years ago that I sent you? Pleeeease? Thank you.
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Rozie37 (6712) | 7 months ago | I never said you were not good enough, I said we have nothing in common. There is a difference you know.
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3. faith210 (6907) | 7 months ago | Hi Ms Tickle! I usually accept all friend's request. Then I will turn the alert ON and see from there if friendship will grow. All my friends'email notifications are ON. However,last month I did delete some on my friends' list since I never received any email notifications from them. And I think I wouldn't tell them why I have deleted them since all those I have deleted are inactive for several months already. And I don't think I will be that arrogant to criticize anyone why they can't be my friends. That hurts! Take care and God bless!
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MsTickle (6481) | 7 months ago | I did that recently too faith...deleted people I didn't see participating in my discussions ever. Some, most, were a long time inactive. I don't know why it hurt me. It just came out of no where.
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4. Tallymommy (1851) | 7 months ago | Sounds like you ran into a jerk, good grief, the negativity on here towards those that have different viewpoints on a post is crazy, and it's usually older people which is even crazier! Don't worry, we still love ya!
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Rozie37 (6712) | 7 months ago | I have accepted friends that have been of a different faith and they have come out and attacked me in my own post. Doesn't seem too bright to continue to do that.
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5. myklj999 (7257) | 7 months ago | I do it pretty much the way you do, even with the notifications. Why someone you don't even know would be critical enough to say "if you remove certain interests" is beyond my comprehension. Sounds as though they're a very narrow-minded person you'd be better off without knowing.
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MsTickle (6481) | 7 months ago | You got that right I reckon. She said she was often attacked for her beliefs and had to be careful. Gee, I find it hard to believe that anyone would attack her....NOT. Don't worry, I took back the friend request and ran away.
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Goodie123 (7434) | 7 months ago | Morning OT, Everyone loves you so everyone wants you to be their friend. How have you been lovely. xxx
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7. nannacroc (1887) | 7 months ago | How ca anyone criticize someone they don't know. There is such a wide range even within each interest category that it isn't possible to judge if the person is a suitable friend. I look at the profile and the questions and responses before I decide whether to accept or deny a friend request. I have only denied a few requests, mainly because they had only used 'tea or coffee' type questions. I just press deny and, as far as I'm concerned that is enough. It is surpeising how hurt you can feel when you are criticized by someone you've never met.
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MsTickle (6481) | 7 months ago | Yeah, nanna, I was surprise by how a stranger could affect me. For me, a friend request is sincere. I know we won't be best buddies overnight but it is a genuine request. I know many here don't request friends sincerely, it's just to get their numbers up. That's ok - different strokes... Like you, I look at what people are posting to see who they are, in fact it's probably a post of theirs that made me look them up in the first place. As far as the interests are concerned,some of them are frivolous. Some I added just because if you don't you keep getting asked. I don't pay too much attention to the accuracy because some are in the wrong place and so on. Besides, to me, an interest is just that - an interest, maybe something I'm curious about. It's not a way of life! 
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8. smallT (136) | 7 months ago | I send a friend request to everyone who responded to anyone of my discussions. I figure the more the merrier. If they deny, oh well, I won't be mad. It's not necessary to send me an explanation if they decide to deny.
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Rozie37 (6712) | 7 months ago | It is needed if they continue to request your friendship after you have denied them before.
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9. Grandmaof2 (3542) | 7 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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Rozie37 (6712) | 7 months ago | I am the villan in this case and it is my pleasure to tell the other side of the story since I have also posted about this incident. I am a Christian, she has said that she is interested in wicca. I denied her friendship before and she requested it again. This is why I thought it would be nice if I sent her an explanation. I believe that I was very polite and am sorry that she took offense. However, I have had friends who attack me when I speak of my faith on here, so I am careful not to add anyone who is not a Christian.
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MsTickle (6481) | 7 months ago | Yes Grandmaof 2, we have been friends for a long time and not once have we judged eac other. I respect you and you respect me and I appreciate that.
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10. antony2best (315) | 7 months ago | i may be unkind sometimes but not always...who would love to be unkind..its just when you get very angry at someone you tend to be rude towards someone.
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