Have you been dubbed "snobby" when you are really just shy?

It use to happen to me all the time to. They all thought that I thought I was too good for them. When all it was, was I was shy. I'm not htat way anymore either I'll speak my mind to anyone that will listen..lol...Lori

Oh absolutely. I used to be quite a wallflower when I was young. And I never knew that people took my shyness for snobbishness...until I took a class at a college in Houston about personalities. We learned that there was a difference between how we perceive ourselves, how others perceive us and how we THINK others see us. After the first day, I called my mother and told her that the "tests" I had done showed that others would see me as a snob and aloof. I thought that was insane, but when I asked my mother about it she said she understood that many shy people were seen as thinking they were "holier than thou."

I certainly didn't want to be seen as a snob, so I set out to change that about myself. I vowed that I would no longer be shy.

Slowly but surely, I did change. Eventually, I was able to take a job where I stood in front of 300 angry homeowners to explain why their homeowner's association fees had been raised.

Later I became a regional sales director for a home party plan - in charge of 3 day training events for new sales managers, in charge of kick-off events, sales rallies and awards ceremonies.

many times it happened to me. And that you are right.. People are judging us without even knowing who we are. Well, there are times that I am upset when people are mis interpreting my being quiet as snob. Well, what I do is just ignore them more.. lol. I am not usually batting in when people are talking just to prove myself that I am not anti social.
I will cooperate in whatever activities they do, and join the conversation at an appropriate time. I don;t care what they say, as long as they are not the ones sustaining me for a living.. lol who cares?

Absolutely! It was around 30 years ago as well. My mother had gone away and it was just my sister, brother and I at home. My brother threw a party and had all of his friends over. One of his friends told him later on that he thought I was a snob because I didn't talk to anyone. I was incredibly shy as a teenager. Not so much now, but I extremely self-conscious and terribly shy. It has stayed with me ever since because snobbish was the last thing I was.

Hi There,

Yes this has basically been the story of my life. I have always been painfully shy. It does come across as being snobby and stuck up at times I am afraid. However, it is just the way I am. It is funny how people will actually go out of their way to avoid you when you are shy. It is not always a fun way to be.

cheers,

Yup all my life. I went through all of high school that way. So I didnt have any boyfriends, at least not many. Im 52 now so I speak my mind.

Diane

LOL, I had to chuckle because that is exactly how I saw my husband. I knew him as a child, but we moved and I forgot about him and then when we got reaquainted I thought he was a snob and he was just a quite person. Once I made the effort to get to know him I found out he had a wonderful sense of humor and razor sharp wit, 2 things that were serious criteria for me with men. LOL! If you could make me laugh I really didn't care about looks at all. Of course he's quite handsome, to me, as well.;) People need to get to know someone before judging them. I learned my lesson young!

In my opinion you can't (judge a book by it cover) by that I mean us humans. Some people tend to keep quiet and don't draw attention to themselves. I know I am like this when I am around new people. I think your right on if they only got to know you that they'd see your not like this but actually a decent person.

Yes, and it still does. When i was younger everyone thought that i was stuck-up and a snob. I was actually painfully shy. And even at 48 if i'm put in a large social setting i am still pretty quite.

wow! we have so much in common. I don't speak too much also and they thought I'm snobby but I am just a shy person.