18 years old friend moving with a 26h girl!  | |  Okey, I have a little bit problem! Need some help with good arguments!!
A friend of mine is being dating a bigger girl [ he was 16h she was 24h] now they are 17-26 something like that.
His father is kinda rich here, not very very wealthy but doing okey!
Of course she was the first for him etc, and now they want to move togheter, when he ends high school and turns 18y, becouse she stays with some students in her apartment from university she just finished.
She is pushing him around a LOT, and insisting with this a lot, he doesn't really wants too, but he doesn't see other choice.
I mean OMG, he could stay home eat what HE wants, work at his dad, have a car, and live his life at 18h at university with no responsability, but he "decides" to go live with her, pay a LOT of rent and stuff, eat what she makes and he/she pays, and of course if an "alien" comes by he's life is BYE BYE!
WHAT SHOULD I DO? I had a talk with him, but he keeps saing he has no choice! She says she will leave to her home [ 400km] away if they dont move togheter LOL????
He is only 18 turning in a few months, SHE DOESNT LET HIM PLAY FOOTBALL with me, she doesn't allow him to buy an account wow to play online and her stupid argument said "it would be just an extra expensive that we dont need" LOL?!
anyone, anything?!?
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| | | | | | | | 1.  lvaldean (858) | 7 months ago |  There isn't really anything you can do directly. Indirectly there is a great deal you might be able to do. Sounds to me like he is not happy in this relationship. I am wondering why he would say that there is nothing he can do about not moving in with her? Why can he simply not say no to her? Does he think there won't be other girls along the way?
Are his parents aware of what the situation is?
Other than the fact that this is his first girlfriend what causes him to stay with her?
While I have no issue with the age difference in most cases, in this case it appears that the woman is taking advantage of him for some reason. What is she getting out of this?
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 CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | He said that she's waiting for over 2 years now him to be 18 and they could move togheter and he cannot delay becouse she might leave him and go 400hm away and actualy saing him that more than once.
He is not happy with some of the stuff, she is way to pushy for him just like a mom some times, and his real mom is a friend with her also, her dad divorced with his mom, agrees with him moving, but he also reapeatly told him that there are more fish in the ocean and he shouldn't hurry.
She treats him like an adult, but he's just 18 nearly, he is way imature for this, and he REALLY doesn't realize the big step he might doing! For her age is normal to satle and start a home and a family, but he is way to young and imature for the responsability!
I'm afraid he will f**** up his life and end up marring her for a kid and he will hates him self all his life and not able to do anything he might like becouse of the early responsability. | |
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| | | 2. subha12 (14597) | 7 months ago |  I think its just his life. although he is quite young, still better let him do what he wants. may be he is getting influenced by that older girl. But its life and he knows best.
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | no doubt about that, but I never said NOT to move, I just sugest him and I want to show him, that an delay of 6-12 more months, would be better for him.
He doesn't want 100% to move in with her, with rent and job and school, I told him to work at his dad, go to school see how he's doing with responsability of the job [evan if its his dad] and after that go moving with rent and lot of stuff to pay, he's just a kid from eating at home and asking dad's money and now he's pushing to move with her gf...:/ thats so wrong!... | |
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| | | 3. kerriannc (2579) | 7 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | great answer! thats what I did, I said lets see the + and -, and he knows there are not +, and i'm still waiting for a +.
I asked him, whats the bonus of moving with her?
More s3x? he said no
So whats are the -?
1.Food
He will no longer order home,or go pizza or stuff like that, he will have to eat what she is making or whats left in the fridge!
2.work
He has to work and 50% of the money he will spend on rent/food/stuff that he could stay home and not work at all and get them for free.
3. responsability
Staing 24/7 with ANYONE its a huge thing and can be annoing if your not ready for it.
The only thing he sais he is afraid she will go away if he delays the moving in....
huh!!! how can somebody who love you doesn't understend that you are not ready for this big step??? or how can't she not see? | |
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| | 4.  Alucifer89 (183)  | 7 months ago |  You can only make him see the things you have mentioned .. Being his first long term gf and all .. he probably does feels a lot for this girl .. but you are right .. from the looks of it, shes as manipulative as some can be. Im not making judgements, but making a rich guy live with self, make him pay rent, keep him away from things he likes and his friends seems manipulative to me.
Your friends will be heartbroken if ever this girl finds someone else ... Its probably more appropriate for you to ask the guy if he is sure that the girl truly wants to be with im and all .. If theres a doubt about her commitment, things would get bad.
Besides, your friend is 18, he has a whole life ahead of him .. make him see that he has an oppurtunity to live the life a teenager should live .. instead he is living a life of a 40 year old already.
If the girl truly likes him, she wont move away and settle away from him if he decides to live with his parents yet continue with the relationship. He just needs to use the right words .. and so do you. A person supposedly in love with someone usually dont like to hear such things about the partner, but thse aret he things which u have to make sure he realizes. In the end however, itsh is life ... u have to support him in whatever he chooses.
Good Luck and take care.
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | yeah i will support him, but its HARD when he is telling me he is not ALLOWED to go watch a football match with me, or go play footbal, and all this maximum 4h a week,:/ | |
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| Alucifer89 (183) | 7 months ago | maybe thats a way with which u can make ur friend realize what he is missing by dooing what hes doing. Im sure his parents dont approve of it, his missing all the fun in his life, he is living the life of a 40 year old when he is 18 .. And she is making him push away the friends that care for him .. and 'stop' him from from doing things he loves. Im not too sure if the girl wants the best for him. I wish there were an easier way for me to say 'make your friend See that' .. but i know its easier said than done:( | |
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | yeah i'll try to do that!:D
make a comment or two each time i meet him haha:D | |
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| Alucifer89 (183) | 7 months ago | Yeh, i guess thats a way to get a point across .. among other of my tried and tested ways are .. Nagging, Sarcasm, Humor, threatening, Emotional Blackmail, pouting, poking etc .. but eh .. i wouldnt reccomend most of them here>_> ... so nvm:P | |
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | i did those, and they work, but i think its a long-term result lol:D | |
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| Alucifer89 (183) | 7 months ago | oh oh oh .. i know, maybe u should get the girl and the friend to read this topic of urs .. im pretty sure the girl will have some very 'select' words for me ... eh | |
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| | 5.  mtgrlz_zerocool (618) | 7 months ago |  you can't do anything at all. in my oppinion, your friend has to talk with his girlfriend and tell her that he doesn't want to move in with her yet. she might get upset of course, but if she really loves him she should respect his decision. he is still very young to do those things, especially if you say that his girlfriend isn't very nice to him. i let my boyfriend play football whenever he wants and i am very happy that he is playing. i don't like it afterwards between the football and the shower, and of course that is tired, but i definetly let him play and watch football. but regarding your friend, he should talk to her and make her realize that this isn't what he wants. in a relasionship it should be good for both persons.
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| CrashO (469) | 7 months ago | yeap, you are right! | |
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