Visiting parents can be Harmful to your Health!

I no longer have family of this type, they have all died. It is rough, though, and I sort of remember how it feels. It sounds like the time is coming when they will not be able to come see you anymore, then they will just drive each other crazy. I hope it helps to come on here and have friends sympathize with you.

Dementia is not an excuse to disown the hand that showed you the path on which you have trodden.
Young people around the world forget they will become old oneday.
The behaviour couples show to their parents in front of their children are bound to face the same situation in years to come -called cause and effect.

Many may dislike your father but that should not be the opportunity to think ill of him.

Do not become angry with me.

It is the truth that I am telling you. The stress comes from the fact that he is not feeling at home in your home.

Mothers are loving in nature, as they can forgive their children at anytime.
Fathers are different.
Give them time.
Dementia, Alzheimers they are nothing if you care for your parents.

I have seen my parents how they took care of my grandparents, that makes me do the same.

History can never be proved right in the court of present.
People of past generation have their views that they will not let go easily.

But did you ever alienated your child if he/she sweared or broke some thing in house?
No you did not, then why you think your parents as liabilities?

Think about it .
You can give me any number of response after this hard hitting by me. But pause a while and think .

You will surely get your answer.

Boy do I feel your pain. In fact times mine by ten LOL. For the past week or so I've had both mine & my husband's family visiting. The very first night my sister & brother in law arrived my sister starting yelling at my husband because of an ongoing argument that he & I were having. It was none of her business, but that did not stop her in the least. I had to tell my husband over & over to please be quiet & not say a word since it was so late at night & I really didn't want the neighbors to call the police. He did as I asked, but I could tell it was very hard for him. In all fairness my sister did apologize afterwards. A couple of days after that, my Mom (who is also visiting & still is) got into a fight with my brother in law which ended with her crying in front of my in laws. A few days after that my husband & I got into an argument with my Mom(this time I was going to defend him no matter what) which ended in her crying yet again. We made up by that afternoon. My family & his went home, but my Mom is still here. We had a fight the day before yesturday because she said I was not spending nearly enough time with her. Again we made up later that day. My sister, brother in law & their 2 kids are coming tmr. & I am actually looking forward to seeing the kids, but my brother in law & I do not get along so I am so what nervous about their visit. It will only be for one day & then they will all go home on Sunday. To say that I am exhuasted from the family visits this past week & half is putting it mildly. My family has always been like this, thats part of the reason I am so glad we live in another state entirely. Not to say that I don't miss them, but whenever we get together it doesn't take very long for me to wish for some peace & quiet yet again. So you see you are not a lone. In fact it could be worse. You could have a family like mine...one that loves to fight!

I get tough on people like that. I would hae to say to him that "if you'e going to talk to my husband that way, I can not hae you in my house. I know you are my parent, ad I loe you, but I also loe and repect my husband, and I will not allow a guet in our home to speak to him this way."

Luckily, I don't have such problems. Most of my relatives are very critical; they would come to our house and criticize us and our way of life. We tolerated it for years. Every time, they visited, my Mom would have to take long bed rest to recover after they left. Now, nobody comes to my house. We learned how to discourage them from visiting and to assert ourselves. Nobody has the right to convert my home into a circus. And nobody has the right to come to my own house, live under my roof, enjoy my hospitality, and eat my food and then criticize me. We just put our foot down, and now, happily, no relatives visiting!!:)

Cheers and happy mylotting!

I make voodoo dolls of them.:) I treat my parents visiting like they treated me when I lived at home, "when are you leaving?" Its hard but enjoy some of the good times you have with them.

Well,Parents can't be harmful in any matter,I know everyone wants to spend his life according to his or her satisfaction but there are some situation in which you have to take you life decisions according to your parents.If you think that lots of problems occuring in your life because of your parents or family so the best way get rid from all those problems is to change your self for them.If you love them we will definately change your self and try to give them what they want from you.You cant change their thinking their personality but you can change your self so just try this out you will easily get rid from your family problems.

Ok, not to offend, but here are my thoughts. Be grateful they are still living. My mom was a great lady. But she could be annoying at times. I remember one day she must of called me 12 times. I finally quit answering it, only to have her leave me a message about not answering the phone!

But mom had cancer, and often couldn't do things for herself, such as shopping. I did all I could for her and often ran myself ragged. (I'm on disability myself) But even though she could be irritating and often spoke her opinion quite clearly, I loved her dearly and miss her so much. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't want her back.

So while he may be a pain in the @ss at times, be glad you still have him while he is here.

My family loves to fight. My Mom is nice to them to there face but behind your back she will cut every body down.. I stopped taking her calls unless its an emergency. I love her put I dont like having her cut me or my husband down. It is hard standing up to your parents. I have backed down several times because I know that someday they might need me.

Luckily I do not have this problem with parents, my parents love my hubby and think he is wonderful. My Dad always repeats himself, but it is not through dimentia, it is just something that he does, I do it too.

I am sorry that he is so rude to your wife and your brothers wife, I would say to tell him that if he does not stop then he will no longer be welcome to visit, but it is easier said than done when it is family. We always feel obligated and loyal when it comes to family like that.