Help I'm in a backward relationship  |
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 I know this might sound crazy, but I need to know how other people feel about this. I want to marry my girlfriend of over 7 years, but she doesn't believe in getting married. She say she loves me and is not going to leave. We have 3 children together. We have a great relationship and I trust her completly. I just don't understand why she won't marry me. Are there any other girls out there that feel the same way as her, what are your reasons for not getting married. Also are there any guys in my situation. I would like to hear you on how you guys feel.
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1.  Wizzywig (1122) | 4 months ago |  What are your reasons for wanting to be married?? Maybe she just doesn't feel its necessary and is perfectly happy as things are. You've said you have a great relationship and that you trust her completely so why change anything? Hope you have many more happy years together.
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| zion45 (67) | 4 months ago | I just want to be able to say she is my "wife". I know it sounds stupid. But I hate calling her my girlfriend after we have shared so much together. | |
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| Wizzywig (1122) | 4 months ago | No, it doesn't sound stupid - its a perfectly valid reason. Be happy. | |
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| zion45 (67) | 4 months ago | I have asked her why several times. She says she does not believe in marriage. That we have a commitment to each other and don't need someone else or a piece of paper to say that we are a couple. | |
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 donsky14 (1108) | 4 months ago |  I see...but its really kinda different when your married right?
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| 3. barbie84 (2308) | 4 months ago |  my hubby was more keen on getting married than me aswell
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| zion45 (67) | 4 months ago | What was your reason for not wanting to get married? | |
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| barbie84 (2308) | 4 months ago | i realy didnt see the point, not being religious meant that it had no significant meaning to me, we were already living together and had a child together so a piece of paper and a very expensive day had no significance and wasnt going to change anything for me | |
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| 4. se7enthbird (1200) | 4 months ago |  the cousin of my wife does not believe in marriage too. they have 5 children already and the guy wanted to get married but the girl does not want to. she said that their relationship is okay. she finds other relationship that when they get married it gets more complicated. there are people who believes in marriages and there are people who dont. some people say that marriage is just a piece of paper. but for my wife she would love to be called my wife rather than just my girlfriend. we are married for 5 years now and turning six on august. welcome to mylot zion happy posting
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| zion45 (67) | 4 months ago | Thank you for the web site. Unfornatly We live in a state that does not regonize common law. You have a lot of good points. We have discussed this a lot. I don't think she is going to change her mind. I am afraid if I keep bugging her I might push her away. Sometimes are kids ask why we are not married and I don't know what to tell them. | |
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| 6. embattledsparkle (836) | 4 months ago |  What are her reasons for not wanting to get married? If she doesn't really have any major reasons, maybe you could sit down with her and tell her why you want to get married and how much it would mean to you.
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7.  subha12 (12607) | 4 months ago |  I think may be she has some reservation about marriage. its really sad thing to see. but still we can't help it. it is sad. try to talk to her and talk about what might be her reservations.
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| 8. dfollin (1387) | 4 months ago |  Iam not one of those people.I was in 2 relationships that was like marriage,where we had a child both times.But,both times we ended spliting up.Then I met someone and we had a child.We were going to get married,but because of insurance reason's we waited till after the baby was born to get married.We were married for 7 and a half years till he died. I knew a couple,where the woman had a child already,but met this man when the baby was about a year and a half old.They lived together for 10 years raising the child.The child was not biologically his,but they had a father and son relationship.Everyone kept nagging them about getting married and they kept saying no because their relationship was fine the way it was.But,people kept nagging them.They were totally commited to each other,but after they got married they felt trapped and they split up in about a year.She took her son and moved about 400 miles away.They never talked unless it was about the boy.They basically grew to hate each other.The boy comes to see his father for vacations and holidays,etc.
I don't know how to advise you.I just think maybe that she might feel trapped,don't push her.Maybe she will come up with the idea of marriage herself later down the road.Good luck.
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9.  latriciajones (621) | 4 months ago | i understand you totally, i have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and i am like it is time to get married. we have 2 kids together and if he says he sees us being together til death do us part then what is the hold up. and my boyfriend he wants to act like we are married and do things that married people do but he doesnt want it to be official. | |
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| 10. AnnaB7 (300) | 4 months ago | I know people like this, and the reason they are like this is because of coming from homes where divorce was common, they think they will do better if they don't get married, it is hard to reason with them,
also I know some others who also don't believe in marriage and the reason why is because they think that it will cost them to much to get divorced if things don't work out, and it is very hard to reason with them to.
I think it is better to get married, but it can be very hard to convince someone who is really afraid to get married. | |
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| zion45 (67) | 4 months ago | You would think that. But her parents have been married for over 40 years and all her grandparent are still married. In fact we really don't know very many people that are divorced. She really does not believe in marriage. I knew she felt this way going in, I just thought that she would change her mind after a few years. | |
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