im lost...  |
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 me and my boyfriend have been going out for a little over a year now. Even before we got together we argued. We still do it we get so mad at each other and then its all better. i dont know how to stop arguing with him. it seems like it is getting worse and worse and i dont want him to leave me because we have gone through so much together but we still stay with each other. any suggestions on how to make our relationship better? because i feel like im coming to a dead end
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1.  spalladino (3268) | 4 months ago |  This pattern of arguing is probably pretty well set and it won't be an easy one to break but you and your boyfriend might be able to make some changes if you both are willing to work hard. The first thing you have to do is to identify what the main cause of the arguing is...is it something specific that either one or both of you do that is irritating or is it just a general disregard for each other's feelings. You could try making a real effort to treat your boyfriend nicely and see if he responds by doing the same but, in all honesty, relationships that start out hostile don't normally turn themselves around without professional help.
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| 2. mannujeet (45) | 4 months ago |  i am going throug the same situation.....today i am feeling a dead man....i am having really wierd and scary dreams...we had a fight yesterday.....
she always says am at fault....but she was the one who always used to say she did a mistake....she understands everything....she used to say sorry to me so many times to convince me....but now she blamed me for every fight...every situation....i havent changed....i am still the same...
she loves me alot....but i dont know what is happening between two of us from last 2 months...situation is getting worse....i know she wont leave me like this...she will talk to me....but i want to end this bad situation....i mean fighting is not bad....everybody fights....we enjoy fighting sometimes...but now its getting more and more...:-(....the things happening from last month just spoiling our relationship....i am scared for our future...
any more suggestion plzz...??....
:-(...:'(....please help me..
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| jamie08 (244) | 4 months ago | my boyfriend says that i am always the one who starts the arguments but he starts them also so i dont know what to tell you like my title says im lost | |
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| 3. mannujeet (45) | 4 months ago | what should i do to convince her...??...shes depressed from last month due to some family reasons.....she used to care about me so much.....she still cares for me..but doesnt showing it these days...she loves me like crazy......how should i react to all this....??...i dont know why all this happening.....what should i do...??...what should i do to make her feel good....?/... | |
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| jamie08 (244) | 4 months ago | love her unconditionally. be there for her no matter what. Be a shoulder for her to cry on, when she trys to argue dont say anything back. Maybe giver her some space untill she calms down. that is what me and my boyfriend have been trying to do, when we start to argue we eaither say stop or if it gets bad someone leaves untill we both calm down so nothing happens. But jsut be there for her and dont let things get to you that you know she really doesnt mean | |
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| mannujeet (45) | 4 months ago | hmmm....you are right.....i am always there for her.....everything belongs to me is her....and everything belongs to her is mine...we know that....my shoulder is always there for her....she shared all her life with me.....so obviously when she will get upset she will yell at me.....that also because she needs me at that time....
and one more problem i am having is i reply back to her in frustration when we argue.....i should stop behaving like this.....one of us should stop behaving like this....if she cant do that....i should keep quite and talk to her politely no matter wateva she says to me...rite...??...
but i am really having a problem regarding this....i dont know how should i stop behaving like this....anyways...thanx for your comments...:-)
:-( | |
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4.  subha12 (12606) | 4 months ago |  please be calm. do not lose heart. there are tiffs and all in a relationship. you have to elarn to live with it. also try to be patience and do not lose cool so often.
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| mannujeet (45) | 4 months ago | hmm...i know...i lose my kool sometimes.....but i have tried to change this habit of mine....but she always say that we should end our relationship....she says this in frustration....she always talk to me so rudely sometimes...blame me for everything.....
but she doesnt go....she always come back to me.....but i am scared because it is getting too much now.....rite now shes not talkin and again she said that everything is finished now....
she gets angry so fast....in frustration she talks like that.....how should i behave when she says this kinda things from next time....what should i do...??....how should i tackle this situation from next time....please advice me....i am really upset...:-(
how should i react when she doesnt show her care towards me.....i know she cares for me alot...but she is not showing.....but how should i react to this...??... | |
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| jamie08 (244) | 4 months ago | i'm trying to stop yelling and fighting back but its hard for me because i have anger managment problems. I have had them since i was little. but i think i am getting better. When we start to argure we calmly say stop or when it really escalates one of us leaves before we say something we dont mean and we wait till we both calm down to talk to each other again. | |
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5.  Irishfrndly65 (2713) | 3 months ago |  I agree here, with spalladino. You need to take a deep breath and really look at what you are fighting about. Identify the core issue and then try to rate it's importance. You might find that you are fighting over really stupid and insignificant things that really don't matter much in the grand scheme of your long term relationship. Are you just getting your feelings hurt over something that was not meant to be hurtful, etc? I know that my man totally thinks differently from me. I might take something he said and get my feelings all hurt where if I would just ASK him about it, before I blow up, he would tell me that was NOT how he meant it at all, or vice versa with him. LOL!
Also it's a really big thing for men to need/crave/desire to be and feel respected by their SO. It's just about what makes them feel like men. Can you think up ways to show your man that you respect him and his input/ideas, that you value him as a man/person?
A relationship takes work, that's all there is to it. It also takes a person that is willing to be hurt and willing to be vulnerable. You must make a decision whether this relationship means that much to you and then work towards it. Remeber the most important thing, you can ONLY change YOU. You cannot change someone else, so you either have to live with them the way they are, loving them and working toward an accord, or leave it.
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