I Tried to take my own life, Now I need your help.

I have and my husband feels the same way. Just be happy. Yet after many years I have realized that his stupidity comes from not having depression and not being able to understand how bad it can get. So I decided to take charge of my life. I try to recognize the onset of depression and think logical how I will make it through the next week, day, month whatever. I have to be conscious not to drink as this makes depression worse and don't run for the Xanax because ultimately this makes it worse. I have been fighting this for 10 years or so. I have my ups and downs and sometimes they are just down right bad. You have to put your focus on something else. Maybe try volunteering or pampering your boyfriend so that he feels great. The compliments will come. Lose some weight if you have a problem. The idea is to just take charge and not let depression have control of your life. Would you let your boyfriend, parents or friends control you? Hell NO. So why let depression. It took me years to learn this. It is still hard I am not saying it is easy, but it will be your first step. The mind is a powerful organ and if you allow negativity to take over it could kill you. Try to let in the positive no matter what. I know this is a huge HILL, but it can be done. We just have to work at it everyday. When you wake up decide your going to be positive.

I sent you a friend request and I would be happy to talk to you. My husband has PTSD with depression and I'v also had some problems with it so I do understand that dealing with it is not as easy as "just cheer up!". I know how bad it is to feel sad and alone so please understand that you are not alone. There is help and understanding out there. PM me and we'll talk.

I think that the hardest thing is to find someone who you can truly trust and who loves you enough to say it's okay and to hold you. My fiance is my source of love but sometimes he gets angry at me and I know that it is not his fault. The only thing I can guide you to do is to keep calling those hotlines, keep looking for that inspiration be it in form of literature or another creative art, and hold on tight. If this man can not be your support, I think that you need to let him go and find someone who is strong enough to listen to you and help you fight the depression that you face. Anything is possibly, and even though it will become harder for you I promise that it will get better. I hope that I have helped you and I hope that the other people here can help you as well. Never be afraid to write a long post here on mylot and especially in the depression category, there are nice people here. I hope that you Have a Wonderfully Lovely Day!

I didn't try hurting my self, but I had a niece that did, she put my sister through hell, my sister kept going back and forth to the hospital to see my niece, she was losing sleep, I felt so sorry for my sister, when I saw my niece again, I told her don't you ever do that again. I wasn't yelling at her, it was just words of care that came out of me to her to let her know how much I love her.
Killing yourself is not the answer, if the problem is your boyfriend, you need to find someone new, because it look like he doesn't understand what you are going through.

I'm so sorry to hear this! Yes, I've tried suicide. I made very sure that it would work, too. I took about fifteen valium with a bottle of vodka and laid down to end it all. I had a dream--a man came to me, told me his name and said it wasn't my time yet and I had to go back. I didn't want to, but he took me by the hand and led me down into a beautiful field. He told me things would be better and I had to stay till God called me, then he left me there. I woke up and it was two days later, no ill effects and I wasn't even thirsty. He came to me again just before I met my now-ex husband and told me I would have two beautiful sons and told me what to name them. And I did.

I know it looks horrible right now and you can't see that it will get any better. But you have to hang in there. Are you on medication for your depression? It's a physical thing, you know, a chemical imbalance in the brain. When you take the right medicine, the imbalance eventually rights itself in most cases. Please get to a doctor and get some meds and perhaps some talk therapy. And get rid of that loser boyfriend of yours, he's not worthy of you. It's a toxic relationship that will only make you more miserable.

I hope things look up for you. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you need to talk, I understand what you're going through. But you absolutely must get some medical help because this is a medical problem--you're not crazy!

I've had times where I've thought about hurting myself but never actually gone through with it. I know what those dark days feel like. My ex used to tell me to just quit being sad, but their irrationality about Depression is because they don't understand what it's like or how bad it can get at times.

Trying to recognize the onset of a bad time is the first step towards beating it. By doing something, even if it's just a walk, to take your mind off the dark thoughts, can be a good way to start.

If it hits you though, take it one minute at a time. I used to stress for hours about what would happen in the coming days, even if we had nothing going on, and it made me very vulnerable.

I also would advise you to keep in contact with the suicide hotline, or get in touch with a depression hotline, such as the one in the link. http://www.healthyplace.c...

These people will be able to let you talk, and talk you through things. They're very helpful, and it's what they're there for. Hang in there!

I've never tried suicide, but doctors have labled me suicidal in the past. Dumb, but there it is. I've told them in the past that I'd considered it, but never planned to go thru with it. I've been treated on two separate occasions for severe depression. I've taken the pills, I've seen the shrinks, I've done the therapy. The pills helped, the shrinks and therapy was useless - to me anyway. I know what I'm going to say probably won't mean much to you, but it helped me. When all else failed and I wanted to give up, my Dad - a tough no nonsense sort of guy - looked me in the eye and said "Suicide is a permanent solution to your temporary problems." I remember laughing, then crying and then realizing he was so so right.

I'm disabled - its permanent. Life has thrown me alot of curves I didn't ask for. I could give up. I still have bad days. But, every time I come back to those feelings I remember my wonderful Dad's words. To me there are no magic answers. But there is the future. And if I get to that darkness again I'll go back on medication again. But right now I deal with it myself, with the love of my family.

Hi barbi,
People who haven't been through this don't understand and unfortunately there are many who don't want to understand. About 2 years ago I was going through the same thing. I guess everything caught up with me at once, school, work, my partner and I didn't have anyone to speak with. Needless to say I tried to slash my wrist. The ambulance came and I ended up having to ride to the hospital, handcuffed in the back of a police car. They wouldn't allow my partner to go with me so I was at the hospital all alone. I remember this guy came in to ask me lots of questions and one of them was "Are you happy you are alive?" At the moment I wasn't but later on once I started thinking about it I was. I started going to a counselor and I got on a plan at work with his help to where if I was having one of those days that I could go see him. We also decided that if I had suicidal thoughts that I would use a red pen as my "knife". After a while I realized that I was being selfish. Killing myself would hurt so many other people and it's not worth that. I would hate for someone to have to go tell my parents that I had done that. I know that it's hard and I think that you need to see about speaking with a counselor. It certainly helps. They aren't there to judge you, and sometimes these types of things aren't something you want to talk about with someone you know. The counselors will listen and try to help you. Please take care of yourself and if you ever need a friend just send me a message.

I had tried to take my life when I was younger. I felt that no one understood me or even cared to!

My parents divorced and my siblings and I were left to fend for ourselves for quite some time, I dropped out of school, had few friends, lost a boyfriend and a brother to suicide and had my parents stop speaking to me because of unwise choices I had made.

Once I left home things seemed all the more miserable and I tried again... I suppose it was not my time to go, after taking 400 aspirin I was violently ill and recovered. I truly believe that you must overcome obstacles in life to be able to feel better about yourself.

I also have depression. You need to talk to someone about these feelings you have. Someone that does not know you as your family or boyfriend do. When we reach for help from those that are suppose to love us, it seems that they only see it as a need for sympathy and self-pity. They do not understand that all we need is to be heard and maybe even hugged!

Counseling is very expensive but I am positive that there is a facility that has either free counseling or counseling based on your income... reach out to these places and you would be amazed at the wonderful things that would happen.

For me, walking into a counselor or psychiatrist's office, dropping all of my inner thoughts and issue at the feet of a stranger only to walk out feeling like an elephant has been taken off my shoulder is the most wonderful and uplifting thing in the world!

I wish you the VERY best... if you need someone to talk with I am here for you!

Well, i was hurt by person that i love, but i realized that there was no use to hurting myself so i release the feeling by punching a pillow but i did'nt cry, just make me try to believe that it is just to make me mad, and not very mean with it ... the best solution but hard to do is forgetting, not people who must forget, but ourselves must try yto forget ... life goes on ....