How does it feel when a relative dies?

i dont really cry. im not that type of a person. maybe if the person that dies is really near to my heart i might. they told me im a very stiff person. i dont think so. i also cry but not them to see. when i was cheated by my husband i cried a lot. but of course you still have to stand and fight. i dont make sadness ruined my life. im a very strong person i think. hahaha thats why if i die, i told my daughter that i want a cremation. no burial no crying. i dont want them to see crying. i want everything to be normal. its life anyway, we all going to die. its a matter of who goes first. hahaha so morbid!

when my grandfather died two years ago, i was devastated. we were so close.
no matter how prepared we were, knowing he'll be going soon ( he's been in the hospital for so long), there were tears all over when he passed away.

i know he is a good man, he's not in pain anymore & he's now in peace with our Creator. but thinking of all the happy times we shared made me miss him so much...