if you help a family member out?  |
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 ok here is a question if a brother in law and his daughter get kicked out of there place and you say that they can stay for a week or 2 till they can find a place and they stay 2 weeks with out paying anything was it bad for me to kick them out when he started screaming at me saying it was none of my business of when he was going to find a place? when he did leave finally after i kick them out and got the cops involved he called my hubby and said that i was talking stuff and then also tried to make us fight. i told my hubby that was what he wanted he did not believe me at first till his neice tried to contact me on the internet and try to make trouble. i blocked her and nothing more was said. Was this the wrong thing considering it was inlaws kinda???? was i really in the wrong.
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1.  Sheepie (2203) | 3 months ago |  You had a legal right to kick them out, but you could have been more supportive, maybe asked them to pay a small rent if you felt necessary.
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 firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | my husband asked him for some money and thats why i guess he made the big fuss so he did not have to pay and he could make it look like i was the bad one.
mind you his daughter was home with me on her birthday while he was at work and then he called me and started yelling at me saying its none of my business when he is moving or getting a place and his money is his and that we werent getting anything an that i had no say. This is why i had enough and said well get the h out. i am tired of people walking all over our niceness. we didnt aske for nothing. and i took him to work. i paid for food and he gave soem gas hear and ther but no rent and was on our computer and phone none stop. they are crazy people. stay away. lol. | |
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| 2. Barb42 (1703) | 3 months ago |  I think you did the right thing. Looks like he had no intention of leaving. My brother-in-law always had the rule that he never hired relatives at his shop. AND, maybe that should be a rule for us never to let relatives come to live with us,outside of our own children. But, most of the time, children don't want to move back. My son got a divorce,moved back in for 1 month after being gone for 6 years. He was no trouble, but it was no longer home. My daughter had to move in with 2 kids when her husband left her even before their daughter was born. When she remarried and moved out, she's never been back, and that was 17 years ago. She says she'd never move back. It's just not home anymore for them. And, with your bro-in-law and his daughter, you never said why they got kicked out of their place. Maybe they weren't paying the bills there, either.
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | whoa i think you pined the donkey. lol. thats exactly what i was thinking . actually i made a typo. i was suspose to be a week or 2 and it winded up being 2 months. so enough is enough. it was my husbands sisters ex husband to be and his daughter so felt a little acquired. And my husband thought he owed it to him to live off of us i guess. total crazyiness glad there out and i am much happier.
just was curious as to the response i would get since i just happened. just wanted to see if i was thinking the same thing as everyone else.
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| Barb42 (1703) | 3 months ago | So it was his sister's EX ...no way would they have moved into my house! Why was the daughter moving with him? Could she not have stayed with her Mom? Or was she old enough to just move out? I know you said she tried to cause trouble in email, right? Sounds exactly like he thought he had it made at your house. Glad you booted him! | |
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | yeah thats the way i was thinking that they were using us. thats for sure. i father has custody thats why the 14 year old is starting to be out of control. it was a crazy situation. i took all ties out so hopefully it is over. i did get a crazy story though that my husband mom told me. she said that its not over with him and just to watch my back. she was being cautious for me cause of what he did with her daughter and all. then she threw a bomb shell at me and told me that the girlfriend before my husbands sister was actually shot by this guy and that his is very crazy. i did try to look it up but i dont have all the facts. i was just curious to see how true it was. well what got me upset was i went out on my porch a few times to talk to my mom and friends just for privacy while they were her and so i wasnt loud either just common curtousy and every damn time i was on the phone with someone he would come out side and listen to the conversation and come out to smoke a cigarette. he was kind of controlling to. when i worked on weekends my hubby would drop me off and do his own thing then pick me up. well when we got home a few times like 4 times he said where were you guys i have things to do. i dont have a car and someone needs to take me here and there and well you get the pic. so right after work i had to hop skip and jump for him. it was out of control. i would only get gas money every now and again. very rarely.
so i mean so much built up it was outrageous. Then just a few days ago his daughters probation officer calls and gives me the 3rd degree and wants to know why i dont know where they are. well i had to put her in her place. the kid is not my responsiblilty ask the father next time you see him all this. There was alot of s going on and to much for my life. well thanks for the advice and support!!! | |
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| Barb42 (1703) | 3 months ago | This guy sound crazy. And what right did the probation office for the girl have to call you? You aren't their keeper and haven't been asked by the court to house them, have you? I would think not! I'd have told her they weren't your concern, that your concern was for your families health! This guy sounds controlling and nosy! I pray you've seen the last of him. | |
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3.  SinfulSweet (104) | 3 months ago |  Unfortunately some people including your own family don't happen to see when they have it made right in front of them and they end up wearing out their welcome quite quickly because of their selfish and often self absorbed behavior. It sounds to me like your brother was exhibiting some of these grandiose behaviors... living in your house with not one but two people, eating your food, using your utilities, internet, cable, washer, dryer what have you and not being gracious and appreciative enough to offer any money your direction... yeah I'd be a bit pissed off and feeling used myself.
Then to top it off he had the audacity to yell at you when you ask about him moving out... I would have kicked him out too. I understand that its hard to do as they are technically family and there is a child involved, but you have to look out for your best interests as well.
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | yeah i mean we did say we would help him but figured it would be a week or two and we did specify this. i tell you we sure now how to attract the wrong people. well its my hubbys sisters ex husband soon to be an his niece. again we only did it for the girl and she winded up turning on me when i kicked her father out. she just turned 14. so it that tells you anything. rotten bunch of people and i dont need it. lol
well wonder what the next saga will be cause like i said earlier he called my hubby 2 days after i kicked him out and said i was starting with him. i never even spoke with the guy. then his daughter tried to email me. i blocked it all out. bet you they are pissed but at least i have less headaches and can go back to my life.
thanks for the advice it does help. we just got married not to long ago so i going crazy. lol | |
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| 4. dementia88 (777) | 3 months ago |  i think you did the righ thing. you were helping them out and the abused it and got lazy. so you had every right to do what you did
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | thats for sure he abused it you should of heard him screaming at me. he told me he was going to be at my house in like 15 minutes well i called the cops. i dont understand what happened. my hubby told me he was suspose to pay some money to us and i think that is what happened he made a big commosion tried to make me look like the bad one and this way he didnt have to pay.
oh know the daughter is trying to say i called her bad names. i tell you no luck on my end. lol
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| 5. ellie333 (5663) | 3 months ago |  Firtsly why was he kicked out of his first place? then you had to do the same, he sounds like an ungrateful so and so and you took the right action. No one has the right to come into your home and then when asked after the two weeks when he would find a place to shout and scream at you so you took the action you needed to take. I can't understand though why your husband wouldn't believe you, that does sound strange. Ellie:D
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | well i actually did not write the right info. it was suspose to be for 1-2 weeks and whinded up being 2 months. thus i could not take it anymore. i wrote some more comment on the top about all the other things going on like when i was on the phone with my mom and friends i went outside for some privacy not to talk about anyone and he alway went outside and smoked a cigarette. kind of creepy feeling like he was controlling in a way. but yet he was always on our phone and computer. but that was ok. sick f people out in this world. As for my husband he tried to put a guilt trip on him and made my hubby think he owed him all of this for nothing. well sorry buddy wrong person to be messing with. lol.
i also found out that he shot a girlfriend before my hubbys sister a long time ago. so that makes me think what is wrong with this guy. creepy stuff.
also my hubbys mom said its probably not over to watch my back. so im watching. so good so far. keep crossing my fingers cause we dont need the aggravation.
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| 6. christies2boys (452) | 3 months ago |  You were being very nice to your sil ex husband and his daughter.But they took advantage of your kindness and stayed for 2 months.You gave him plenty of time to look for a new place to live.So you had every right to throw them out.Especially since he wasn't paying you money.And what nerve that they had to get mad at you. Be very careful the drama might not be over for you and your husband with these two.
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| 7. Ithink (576) | 3 months ago |  I have to say with a huge NO you were not wrong. Im sorry family or not noone should take for granted the kindness anyone does for them by taking them in. Im a sucker when it comes to this and have had to get harder to say no more. I still feel bad to a point BUT I too am tired of being a doormat so to speak. The fact that he had a job and then wasnt forthcoming to help out with anything. Then to have the gall to say it isnt any of your business when it is your home? Nope I think you did the right thing!
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8.  titagdl (132) | 3 months ago | You didn´t do anything wrong! You already hepled a lot by letting them stay and without paying,so he should´ve been grateful for that. But instead he argues and insults,well that´s just plain ungratful!Imagine, you´re doing them a favor and even had to get the cops involved, well you did all you could! | |
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| 9. skywolfcel (5168) | 3 months ago | 
if they will harm you protect yourself and i think you are going the right way and you made the right decision
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| 10. bindishah (1652) | 3 months ago |  They sound like a terror. I think it is very noble to help out family members in need provided they do not take advantage of you. I would probably let someone stay at my house if they dont have a place - but I will definitely draw a line if they star creating trouble. I probably would not charge them rent or make them pay for utilities for the time they are staying at my house thoguh. They would eb my guests and if they are already in trouble with money then it would be unfair to make them pay. But if they start sceaming at you in your own house, then you have every right to throw them out.
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| firebirdlizant (152) | 3 months ago | no the messed up thing was he waited to go to work and screamed at me on the phone. thats even worse i think!!! he couldnt have the gauls to talk with my husband around he had to scream at me. he has lots of nerve. something is wrong with him thats all i know. | |
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