Big Boys Dont Cry.

isnt just men Tee.. i was raised to not only ever cry or show sadness.. but to not show ANY emotions whatsoever. i spent most of my life semi robotic not posessing any emotion at all (thus my logical borg side) and it took a very long time to even discover i had any.. much less be comfortable expressing them. do i feel its a sign of weakness to fall down? yeah.. not just from how i was raised, but most people havent got a clue how to deal with me when i do fall down.. so they scatter and leave me to it alone. ive taught my children differently. to be who they are, feel what they feel, and have no shame in it. in this, im also teaching myself right alongside them.. thats its ok for me to do the same.

II2aTee,


It is not a sign of weakness and it is good to cry, no good having pent up emotions, let it out and no one is going to think your weak, I cry all the time, if one of Mylotters wright about something, I am sitting here with tears running down my face or if there is anything sad on Tv I'm off again, so don't be ashame of crying, it is good. I lost my mother six years ago and I still cry when I think of her which I do everyday.


Tamara

So what are your thoughts? Do you think it is a sign of weakness when men cry? Or do you respect them for being able to show their emotions?

I dont see it as a sign of weakness at all..In fact just the opposite..I think any man who is able to cry and show his emotions like that is a TRUE MAN and a REAL MAN...My bf cries at times and shows his emotions and I love him all the more for that to be honest with you...It shows someone genuine as far as I'm concerned..

Hi Tee...
I was raised with a very strict Greek father who had no idea how to react to children since His parents were very strict too, My Mother tried but would get a blunt of his anger right away..so we learned to never give him any reason to be upset cause if we cried, we'd get beat more..since I was the only one of my 6 sibs that had hair that grew like weeds, he'd take his anger out on me by cutting it and i wasn't suppose to cry..now my father was no hairstylist, so i looked like an urchin child..as soon as I turned 18 I left and married the first person he would allow me to marry..when i had children i gave them all the love i was cheated out of, but didn't know how to love a Husband that wanted to be in charge of me..sadly i did this numerous times..I have 5 children that are allowed to love,cry,care and whatever they want as long as hate isn't into it..I refuse that word..

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Hi Tee, When I was growing up it was considered weak for a man to cry, at least that seemed to be the general opinion. By the time I was an adult I had begun to think differently and still do. There are times when we all all need to cry and it isn't a sign of weakness. I have three grown sons and they were raised to express their emotions. I guess the idea that it was a sign of weakness for a man to cry is something left over from another age. Blessings.

If men are weak because they cry, then women are too. And we know that's not true. Crying is a natural expression and it's something we need, as humans, to do. I was lucky enough to be raised in a family that saw my tears as an integral part of my self. I cry when I feel any strong emotion, even anger. And I'm easily touched, to say the least. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be raised in a cold sort of family. I've known countless people who have though. It mystifies me.

So Tee. It's sneaking up on you, isn't it? That floodgate opened for a reason. Maybe you're getting ready to start thinking about thinking about this stuff, your uncle, and your grandmother. We don't necessarily recognize it when we step over those invisible emotional-quotient lines and reach a point where we might be able to handle something that was previously off limits. Maybe you crossed one of those lines over the last day. Could be. I'm proud of you, you know. xxx

Its ok for men to cry as long as it does not have a conflict with your duties and roles. If a lot of people are depending on your strength,and crying will seem to them as a sign of weakness, you better be careful. You may cry but you shouldn't show them. I think it is everyone' privilege to express their emotions whatever kind it maybe. But the master of control over your emotion...that is talent and superiority.

I grew up in the "real men don't cry" era; we weren't supposed to show emotion, we were just supposed to cram it all down inside and then go out in the woods and beat up a tree or something like that, maybe kick the dog or the cat...you know what I mean. Crying was for sissies and mama's boys. I can remember when I was 14; I got something for Christmas that really meant something to me; it wasn't even something I had asked for, so someone had actually put some thought into it. I was so moved that a couple tears rolled down my face, at which point my Dad asked what I was crying about and I said "because I'm happy" and he went off on this long tirade about men don't cry and being happy is nothing to cry about and all that; pretty much made me feel about 2 inches tall. So I'm not real good at showing emotion other than anger, because that was how I was raised, and it's kind of hard to break those psychological barriers...

I am so happy that we are getting away from gender roles where emotion from men is frowned upon. I am able to connect more with a man who is not afraid to show his emotions. My boyfriend is very sensitive, and has cried about such tender things as children singing the national anthem. I love that about him. I have always been a person whose tears flow freely whether I like it or not. At times it has been really tough, when my tears have put me at a disadvantage with someone I would rather have not seen me cry. But I think having my emotions so readily shown, has also allowed me to feel compassion for all kinds of people in every walk of life. Emotion, and expressing emotion, is a good thing. It is the heart of humanity. Emotion and connectivity to others is what makes us human. I can't think of a single reason to stifle that in men or boys.