Children with disablities compared to Normal children

I have Asperger's, which is a syndrome in the Autism spctrum, and I resent the child without autism being called "normal" as if there was something ABNORMAL about 'my type'. Am I to assume that you sometimes worry more about your child without autism? Why use a word like "normal?" All those words serve to do is make people who don't fit someone's stand seem "abnormal."

I have two grandaughters with disabilities and they have an older sister that I am raising. The younger ones have behavioral disorders and it was very stressful for the older one to be able to handle. The younger or the two has ITP which is a blood disorder which requires her to have blood test and treatments all the time otherwise she bruises very easy. The older of the two has a mild form of autism which gives her bad behaviors and had sorta rubbed off on the younger one because she sees her older sister doing it. I know the older child feels left out of the hom and I try to keep things as normal as possible for her but there is still a hurt there that she can't be a member of her own family.

The woman who raised me had 3 boys. The first died when he was 2 of cystic fibrosis. The 2nd also had CF, but the 3rd was healthy. She did tend to baby him more. She loved both her boys equally, but you could sense her showing slight favoritism to the youngest, knowing he was the healthy one who would outlive her, and the only one capable of giving her grandchildren. I think it's somewhat natural, almost like a relief to have a healthy child you don't have to worry about as much.

There was a news article a few days ago appertaining to testing for Downs syndrome in the infant stages of pregnancy,and how valuable that test would be to parents who had already experienced having a handicapped baby.There was a mother who immediately came on the television and spoke of her joy at the birth of her daughter,who was born with Downs syndrome,so this shows there are different reactions to having a handicapped child.I would imagine without much love and support it would be an incredibly difficult road,having a handicapped child and an able bodied child,as the pressure would be upon you to provide both love and support in equal amounts to both children,and also it,may well put a great strain on any relationship.For a time..when I was younger..I worked voluntarily with the Gateway club,a club that is for handicapped children,so I saw the demands that were there,the amount of time a handicapped child can need from a parent,but they are equally as loving as any other child.But getting the balance right must be tiring and very stressful.

I have a boy that was born blind, and a step son with aspergers syndrome. I treat all of the kids the same. Just because my boy is blind I do not want to disable him anymore than he is. I make him do as much as possible to be the same as the other kids. I do have 2 other kids and 5 step kids. I think you have to make sure to treat all the kids as close to the same as you can. Adapt to make it work.

My advice to you is to just act normal around these children. Don't try and make it obvious that the other two are having disabilities. I know that this child is only 3 years of old but there are times when parents tends to do things that will affect the state of their children for along time. Read your bible be thankful for having a child who is different from the other two but pray and ask God to build a protective wall around your three kids.

Take care
Kerry

My first born was born "normal" actually very bright but my second child had difficulties from birth. he has visual and speech difficulties as well as behavioral and social challenges. When I got pregnant with my third and final child I was so scared. My daughter was so easy to look after but most my efforts went to my son and couldn't see me being able to handle a third child "normal" or "special need". But I handled the rough times when they were younger. Though my third child is learning disabled, he is a fun and social child and the apple of my eye.
But I totally understand how you feel to fear your youngest developing something. I also have left that with my daughter. It has nothing to do with normal or special need for me. More like I love each of my children's personalities and to see that lost would be sad.

I have a normal child and he is 13 years old. He is a polite teenager. I have a 16 month old child and he has spina bifida. The hospital told me about his disability at 36 weeks pregnancy. I was offered an abortion and I said NO way. I went ahead with my plans for a home birth and I had a two and half hour labor then my baby was taken to hospital. He had an operation to close the hole in his back and then he went to stay in a special care baby unit. He had an operation two weeks later to put a shunt inside his head. He came home when he was three weeks old. Recently he began to sit up unaided and he can combat style crawl around really easily. His development is way behind a normal child of his age but I love him. He has such a lovely smile and many people like him. I feel the same way about both my children, normal and disabled. I think that my toddler looks the same as all other children his age sitting in his pushchair. I think he might go in a wheel chair when he is 4 and he might be able to do his own catheter when he is 9 or 10.

Hi there. I have a 7 year old daughter with mild autism. She can talk although not very clearly sometimes. She can deal with everyday situations as long as things don't interupt her everyday routine. She doesn't struggle with school or learning but it's hard to get her to do things. Most days are a struggle and others seem to be fine. As she gets older, she has learned to adapt and cope with everyday situations. Hopefully yours will be able to also.

I also have a 2 year old son. He doesn't have any problems at this point and everything is fine with him. It may sound cruel but sometimes I feel really happy with my son. I can get through to him in ways that I cannot with my daughter. I hate to even think that because I love both my children the same with all my heart. I sometimes wonder if he may eventually have problems. My daughter seemed fine too but her behaviors slowly emerged and some of her milestones that she hit on time in her development seemed to just disappear.

I try not to think about it but I do watch his development all the time since I know what to look for now. With our daughter we didn't know. Try not to think about those kinds of things. I have learned that those kinds of things makes things harder for me on a daily basis. I think in a way we all raising kids with disabilities sometimes think the same way. I'm sure all your kids are beautiful and wonderful kids and I know you love all of them the same. Take a breather for yourself and try not to worry about it.

I am sorry that you are having a hard time with other people on here. You seem like you are having a harder time at home. I feel for you and your family. Dealing with children with a disability isn't easy. It probably feels like you are treading upstream, but you are not alone. While I don't have a child with disabilities, I know people that do. If anything, I think people should be more supportive and give helpful advise. You call your children whatever you like, and don't let anyone tell you different. Best Wishes to you and I'll keep you in my thoughts.