how do we bring up trust in a relationship?

For me trust is the most difficult to mend amongst everything else in a relationship. But for me for as long as there is love and forgiveness and there is a genuine change in your partners commitment to you then in time trust would again be gained back. But, I truly believe there is no true and proven way to really regain the trust back that easy. It should be earned back depending on how the person who violated your trust is really determined to amend his/her doings.

I think that the trust can be brought only with the help of joint efforts. One person in the relationship cannot do much to build the trust between them. For that both of them or to start atleast one of them has to be positive. May be once or twice one has to forgive the other one. But at that time the forgiver has to make sure that the other person knows that he or she has been forgiven by the partner and if the same thing is repeated, the parter will not forgive and they will have to break.
It is not easy to forgive and very difficult to forgive many times just for the sake of your love. It is something like that the other person does not love the forgiver so the same thing is repeated. So it becomes prime duty of the partner if he or she is forgiven, then the same thing should not be repeated at any cost.

trust is something we don't just bring up. in order to gain someone's trust, you have to work hard to earn it. it's hard just to trust anybody but i guess as your relationship grows, so does yo trust for each other. just make sure not to do anything to break someone's trust because once it's broken, it's hard to bring it back.

no one is perfect in this world, and we all should forgive for us to be forgiven by our Creator. my relationship with my ex bf started with a lie and it is not good to start it with that kind of situation. there should be honesty and open communication to both partners. i had forgiven him for lying about his age and his status, he said he was not married only to find out that he was divorced, and then there was a time he called me another name. he said that there was only me, that he was not seeing anybody else only to found out he had another one aside from me. i loved him enough to keep on giving him the chances that he needed, and i tried to build up the shaky relationship. he often said "everything is up to me" that was then i realized that he never loved me as much as i did, and everything relies on me. trust is like a glass, if it is broken, it will never be rebuilt on its original self again. if only he made mistakes without any intention, things could have been better. he was never worthy of my trust anymore.

I dont know if I can really answer your question because I did not yet experience that to my husband cheating on me. Anyway, as we speak of trust to gain it is to have hardwork because if trust will be broken it is very hard to gain back. But I think if my husband do that maybe as we say time heals all wounds. So maybe as time pass by you can again regain the trust to your husband. As wife our priority in life is our children and we don't want our children to experience a broken family so as long as we can take all the problems that our husband cause us we always forgive but there is a limit to all the actions that they do.

I would say communication is the key. If you have something to hide maybe tell the wife or husband anyway because chances are they could help you with it. It really does make me wonder though how some marriages last 50 years or more. That is being really true to your partner.

Giving a second chance to the person you love is the best option.. Let me not call this second chance unless the situation is worse.. If there is a fight talk it out.. Not immediately but give it a gap.. In fact in a relation more downs will rise as it is easy to misunderstand and misinterpret a person. It is always nice to avoid misunderstandings in any relation.. FOr this we should trust our partner. trust doesn't come just like that. Giving space to each other will bring more trust and the vice versa could also happen.. Understanding is the best part and being true to the person you love is the only thing that will increase the trust.. If its acceptable I'll forgive him from the bottom of my heart.. Though it ll take me some extra time to do it!:(

MNRFOLEY,

Trust is the foundation to an intimate, secure and successful relationships. It is earned and maintain with consistent actions of both parties. Trust like breathing is a mandatory entity - just as life needs the breath, relationship will need trust to thrive and survive. It applies to family relationships, romantic relationships and friendships as well.

Once this is betrayed, the repercussions and aftermath can be inconceivably devastating. As the saying goes: Trust is like a porcelain china, once broken though it may be mended may never be the same. It has cracks (scars). And it will stay with the parties involved throughout their lifetime.

So as you can see, once you have been betrayed - it will take more than forgiving the other party here to bring back that trust to the relationship and the belief for the other party at fault. You need to have the desire to take the first step to rebuild that trust again. Trust isn't an emotion but an obscure concept most of the time. It's a learned behaviour of past experiences. Most of the time because of the risk involved, it is always made synonymous to a gamble. As one tries to rebuild that broken trust, it is understandable that it may break down every now and then, as the hurting party just simply does not want to go through that anguish and vulnerable moment. It is just human.

From the hurting party's point I would suggest that you would observe the following:

1. Stop Labeling yourself as the victim.
I think you need to remember that you are a victim of your circumstances. All of us will at some point of our lives have our trust either tested or violated or both. There is a difference with being a victim and living with a victim mentality. We all have choices. We may choose to use our effort to just be a wallower of the sting of betrayal or choose to make an effort to overcome it.

Wallowing will only stifle your ability to truly heal because you will end up angry and blaming everything and everyone else for something you actually have more control over than you think.

2. You did not loose everything
It is always a natural tendency to feel like we have lost everything that means anything to us when we are severely betrayed. The most common aftermath question and answer: What is left? There is nothing left. We feel shock, lost and numb. I think you need to make a little effort and snap out of this angle of looking at the situation. Why not focus on the things around that you still have? Feel thankful for ones? At least your life partner had chosen to come forth and back to your arms again. Surely, his past goodness and sincerity is worthy over a moment of bliss and folly. I am not asking that you completely ignore what had happened. But I feel that by looking at things from the positive side will only enhance our efforts in rebuilding and paving the way to a successful recovery, growth and forgiveness.

3. Keep your expectations high
By this you will need to be specially alert to avoid situations that will share the same circumstance where your trust was violated. It is important to recognize that just because your trust had been violated before DOES NOT mean that it will automatically happen again. You will have to stop that harmful belief that your renewed relationship will end up the same way.

I do not need to emphasize just how important being positive here could be. Failing here will only short sell yourself and throw away that great possibility of a comeback, all because you are afraid of being hurt again. Remember you need to give out your best as always; and when you do give out your best, you deserve the best in return. Don't expect anything less.

Loosing trust in someone who has betrayed you can be devastating to your relationship, self worth and self esteem. But, as long as the both of you are willing to work things out together again, trust can be rebuilt and won back. It will need an effort of consistency and magnitude from both ends. You can trust me on this that once trust is regained, it will be truly healing.

I hope that you will see some light here and that it will help you out as you try to build this fragile and important relationship entity.

Take care.

it's always difficult to rebuild trust once it's broken that's what they say.. but it all really depends on you.. if you think that the person is sincere and that he really loves you.. if he is willing to change and make it up to you then there is always a room for a second chance..forgiving it should not be that difficult..but it should depend on the degree of the damage done too..

This is a very in depth issue. There has to be 100% trust between couples. If someone strayed, I would be very heartbroken. Other than counseling over it, that would be grounds for breakup. Infidelity is inexcusable, because why would you be with someone who had no true love for you. I don't know if I could trust that person again. Something like that does not mend right away. That is just my opinion